Redgy almost kills Q.... again.

It's finally time to start story time, as I almost killed Q this morning. However, before I get started, let me let you guys in on a few things.

First of all, how did Redgy and Elevant come about? Well, that's easy. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a condition called verbal diarrhea. That is to say, I open my mouth and you never know what is going to come out. Sometimes it's poetry. Sometimes it's stupid. But it's almost always funny... or awkward... but mostly funny. So, one night, the usual group of us are out getting drinks (and is it wrong that I'm giggling about every one's code name... it's so James Bond, but without the guns, or gadgets, or Moneypenny): There's me, Elevant (you'll hear more from her later), Q, Raul the pool boy, Poptart, and Zhan (the EVIL ASIAN!!!). I had been thinking about doing something a little bit different with my hair, so, being that I do not have a fashionable bone in my body, I decide to ask Elevant for her thoughts because her hair is always edgy and relevant. In fact, her hair is a little famous - so there's really no denying that it's relevant. Now, we've had a few drinks, so it should come as no surprise that when I open my mouth to ask her what she thinks, that I tell her I want my hair to be redgy and elevant... just like her. Then I pause. Then bust out laughing. At which point, we all decide on a hairstyle or two that would, in fact, make me very redgy which leaves her as the elevant one.

"And, you know what? Wouldn't that be an awesome blog name? Redgy and Elevant?"
"It would be awesome!"
(time passes - more drinks are ordered)
"Hey, you know what would also be awesome? Karaoke."
"Holy crap, I'm in."
"Me too."
"I'd be down."
"I'm easy."
"I know, you keep telling us. We all know you are at this point."
"Oh shut up."
"Aw, but it's BYOB and the liquor stores are closed."
"I've got bottles at home, and I'm 2 blocks away."
"That's it, we're going. We'll meet you at Q's!"
"HOORAY!"

... And that, folks, is how history is made.

So back to this morning.

Q and I carpool in the morning, partly because I live in BFE (so everything is on the way when you live out in the middle of nowhere), partly because her company doesn't pay for downtown parking and mine does, partly because I just plain like her company, and partly because Q likes to put her life in the hands of a crazy woman every morning. If I had a dollar for every time I said "OMG I swear I don't drive like an idiot!" or "I don't do this when I'm alone, I promise!!" or "I'm sorry, I didn't, I ... I... (blush)" I would be a very rich woman indeed. Despite this, Q still rides with me in the morning and is very nice about the whole thing.

For the past month, however, I've been working really late hours which, of course, makes things worse. On top of that, I have punked out on the carpool multiple times lately. Either I hit the snooze button or I turn off the alarm and then dream that I got ready, just to find out that I didn't and that Q has found her own way into work (thank you very much). This morning, was no exception. Apparently, I had agreed to pick Q up at the mechanic at the usual time. So, at 7:50am I get a text.

Q: "Are you still asleep?"
Me: "yeah, I didn't get home until 2am. It would be great if you could find your own way in today. I'm tired"
Q: "Um, okay. I think the dealer has a shuttle that can take me home.
Me: "OMG OMG OMG! I'll be there in 15 minutes!!"

and with that, I awoke with such an adrenaline rush that I knocked over my alarm, stepped on the dog and left Zhan going "what the hell is going on... mumble mumble...back to sleep".

I got there in 20 minutes instead of 15, but I was pretty pleased with myself, all things considered. Q thought that coffee was in order, and I agreed that it was an awesome idea. I let her know that she should just direct me as I wasn't too familiar with this area and I'm dead...freaking...tired. So, Q did, and as we talked I piloted splendidly under her direction....until we arrived at this point where the road forked. The sun partially blinded me even with my sunglasses on, so when I started to go to the left I started noticing Q tensing up.

"To the left. To the left...to the left... more to the left... pole... POLE.... POLE!!!!!!!"

I didn't hit the pole, but I DID manage to get crazy embarrassed. I started up with the "omg, I'm so sorry. I just... I mean.... I was blinded by the light *pause* wrapped up like a deuce *smile* .... never mind, not the time for that. I'm really sorry I almost killed you!!"

I'm just happy that Q was probably so afraid for her life that she didn't think to pummel me because - well, let's be honest. I have problems driving when I'm firing on all cylinders much less when I'm getting beat by a woman who has just seen her life flash before her eyes.

Needless to say, coffee... and a breakfast croissant... was on me. :)